So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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