so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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