I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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