you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
