Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
