Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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