So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
