My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
