ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize