First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I stole a fireplace last night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
