Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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