He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
