Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
