tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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