Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize