Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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