one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
