I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
