It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we're making bets on your personal life
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
