sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
