He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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