I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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