Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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