A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
