Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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