Your mouth is God's brothel.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
