i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
