On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
