See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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