Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
