i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
