Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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