So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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