If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize