If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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