my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize