I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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