Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
