Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
