He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize