shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you never un-have a 4some
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
