Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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