It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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