He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
