i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
