Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
