yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
