Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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