what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
