Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
