i barfeds in our rink
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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