so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
