You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Porn is love you can see.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
