....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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