i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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