Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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