im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
