He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You've changed since you got that strap on
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize