drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
