Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
