so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
