Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
