Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
