Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
