Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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