Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
