..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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